A Series of Ridiculous Events
by Momoe Ishii
Summary: From pillow fights to drunken nights, this collection of humorous short stories about the Akatsuki (collected from my vast archives of completed writing memes) is something you're sure to find entertaining (and incredibly stupid, no doubt :P). Rated T, because Hidan is Hidan.


Quick explanation: I'm kind of obsessed with writing memes, and I have a HUGE document full of them. All about the Akatsuki (because they're fun to write about, yes?). Most of the time the questions in the writing meme are answered with a few sentences, and then I move on to the next one. But sometimes I get carried away (especially when it comes to things that involve Hidan and Kakuzu), and answers become stories. I thought it might be fun to upload a few and let other people see my extreme nerdiness. XP

And yes... I'm in them a lot. Because the writer is often involved in the memes. I apologize if this annoys anyone (...pretend it's you instead maybe?).

Situation one: Pillows

[At a sleepover, Hidan, Zetsu, Cole and Kakuzu were having a pillow fight...]

Based on the participants of this pillow fight, one can tell that it wasn't started "for fun."

Zetsu and I were talking, and Hidan decided to interrupt and ended up insulting Zetsu. Zetsu threw out a super witty comment that was hilarious, and that, of course, made Hidan really angry. He didn't have his weapon with him, so he picked up the nearest thing to him-which just happened to be a pillow- and chucked it at Zetsu, just as Kakuzu entered the room to ask Zetsu a question. Zetsu dodged, and the pillow hit Kakuzu square in the face.

Now, Kakuzu and Hidan had been arguing earlier, and they were still on really bad terms. So this pillow to the face somehow made Kakuzu snap, and suddenly the ... tentacle things... he has came out and grabbed every pillow in the room (there were a lot of people at this sleepover, and all the pillows/sleeping bags/etc. had been dumped into the room we were in. Some people had even brought multiple pillows. There must have been somewhere between twenty to twenty-five pillows in that room).

And boom! The room became a pillow war zone, and Kakuzu was a dangerous machine gun. Hidan was buried underneath pillows in seconds. He tried to throw them back at Kakuzu (while cursing up a hurricane of words, many of which I had never even heard before... some may have even been in different languages), but Kakuzu's tentacles would catch the pillows in midair and send them flying back twice as hard.

Zetsu closed his... trap thing.. and disappeared into the floor, leaving me to fend for myself as I tried to escape the warzone. After being helplessly caught in the crossfire and clocked by six different pillows, AND knocked off my feet by a pillow that was very forcefully thrown by Kakuzu, I army crawled though the raging chaos and hid in the closet nearby.

I was going to yell for them to stop (or maybe yell for help, whichever came out first), but I suddenly realized just how funny this skirmish was. An enraged Kakuzu slinging fluffy, soft pillows at high speed directly at Hidan, who was putting up a fight (and throwing back the most creative arsenal of swear words and insults I've ever heard in my life), was getting pelted and couldn't manage to stay standing for more than eight seconds. So I stayed there in the safety of the closet and enjoyed the rest of the show. And it didn't last long, because within the next five minutes the door to the room swung open violently, and Pein stormed in to give the pillow warriors an almighty piece of his mind.

You see, he, Kisame and Itachi had been watching X-Men in the other room, and the fight between Hidan and Kakuzu had gotten so extreme (and so extremely loud) that they couldn't hear their movie, even when they turned the volume all the way up). Kakuzu stopped pretty quickly. Pein had to throw Hidan into the wall to get him to shut up.

As punishment, Hidan was forced to clean up the mess they'd made (and even though the weapons in this battle were pillows, at the speed they were being projected they'd made quite a mess. They had broken several items in the room, and a good one third of the pillows either had holes or were completely torn to pieces. There was fluffy cotton and a mess of pillow feathers everywhere).

Kakuzu was forced to pay for all the damage (I swear, it's a good thing that man has multiple hearts, otherwise we might have lost Kakuzu to a heart attack right then and there).

Then Pein asked where Zetsu and I had gone.

Kakuzu and Hidan looked at each other. Apparently they had been so zoomed in on killing each other (with pillows, of all things) that they hadn't noticed where we went.

I slowly opened the closet door and let them know I was there, and that Zetsu had escaped the frenzy earlier on. Seeing that his work was done, Pein walked away to finish watching X-Men. Hidan swore under his breath as he began picking up the mess, and a rather distressed Kakuzu headed upstairs to calculate the cost of the damage done. I slipped out of the room as fast as I could.

... and that was the end of it.

I know, dumb story. Personally I find it hilarious to picture those two trying to destroy each other with nothing but pillows and mindless fury. X3

If I find any other good stories I've accidentally written (or at least, any slightly entertaining ones), I may add chapters. We'll see what happens.

Thanks for reading! :3


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